With A Heavy Heart

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Dearest readers,

In this moment of deep sorrow, I write today post with a heavy heart. I do not know how to articulate my feeling in time like this. But I’ll do my best. Million other things are going through my mind, contradicting feelings and thoughts weigh heavily on me.

It took a while for me to come to terms with the loss of our beloved King Bhumibol Adulyadej – world’s longest-reigning monarch. Though his passing wasn’t sudden or unexpected. He’s been unwell and hospitalised many a time. But this time was different. His condition worsened with multiple complications. Naturally, I thought I was mentally prepared for this foreseeable news. Clearly I was not. Tear still wells up in my eyes as I type. For citizens of other culture and countries, one may question why he was so loved and respected by many Thais and non-Thais. I can’t answer that question for everyone else. I just know that from a very young age, we were lucky enough to witness his majesty’s modesty and generosity towards his people of various cultural and religious background. His majesty’s hard-work, selflessness and dedication were always seen through both media and words of his close relations. One might beg the question of how true those stories really are. Perhaps it was that he simply had a great PR team who helped built a respectable public image. No matter, I will let you be the judge of that.

 

Personally speaking, this loss shook the whole nation in a silent quake. Wave of sadness washed over our land. There was a shift in the atmosphere around me. The air felt still. The whole nation fell silent in mourning. I don’t suppose you’ll understand the magnitude of this event. I don’t expect you to. All I ask is for you to please kindly respect and be a considerate soul for the grieving of our people.

 

The country is without its soul today. And it is with great sadness to have to say goodbye even though we knew in our heart this day will come eventually. The most important question now is how are we going to go on. It’s time for Thais to unite despite our differences. Becoming one doesn’t mean having to agree on everything, instead it means to work harder to live together through our differences.


Lessons I’m taking away from this situation:

• Loss is a change we all process and react to differently.
• ทุกคนมีวิธีจัดการกับความรู้สึกสูญเสียที่แตกต่างกันออกไป

• Love is a word anyone can say, but love is a verb not everyone can do.
• หากรัก อย่ารักเพียงคำพูด จงรักด้วยการกระทำด้วย


 

Endnote:

มีท่านหนึ่งได้กล่าวไว้ว่า
“ไกลกังวล อย่างสิ้นเชิง”
เรารู้สึกว่างเปล่าและเปรมปิติกับคำนี้
เหมือนอยากให้ท่านได้หมดกังวล
แต่อีกใจหนึ่งก็อดใจหายไม่ได้
ถึงเวลาแล้ว
ที่ท่านจะได้พักผ่อนจริงๆ เสียที
.
.
.
He who lived to give, his memories live on.
May his majesty the King Bhumibol Adulyadej rest in peace.

 

 

Original photo credit:คุณจักรกฤษณ์ ไชยพิเดช
Edited photo credit: unknown

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