Day 8/30
I’d like to dedicate this post to the people who had at one point in their life lived in the city of Christchurch. The city today doesn’t have the same vibe that it did years before the earthquake. Buildings were demolished, pulled down and businesses relocated in almost every corner of the city centre. The library I used to love going to is gone. What once was no longer stands. And that was the hardest part for me. I couldn’t bring myself to accept the drastic change – the unrecognisable and unfamiliar- even though friends did warn me of the stage that it is in.
Tear started welling up in my eyes as I was walking around for no apparent reason. I think I was overcome with emotion I never knew was there in the first place. The longing for the old days – to relive the memory I once cherished so much – is unsatisfied. I’m still stuck in the 2005 version of CHCH. Coming back to the 2017 upgraded and renewed naturally felt unsettling.
Though it would be insensible of me to want to hold on to the memory of the place while people are trying to move forward. But honestly I can’t help fighting off this sudden wave of nostalgia and overwhelming flood of memory. The reality hasn’t quite sunk in. In my head, I remember CHCH as a different place to what appears before my eyes. The land no longer holds keys to my teenage self. In some ways I see the quake as a symbol of letting go. And I must let go 
for the city can flourish into full bloom.
My mom absolutely adores flowers. She had a bit of an obsession with rose garden at the Botanical Garden when she was in Christchurch visiting us while we were still at school. So this half of the post is dedicated to her 🙂
Thought in the park:
At some point in our life, one must make a conscious decision to let go of what once was in order to move forward towards what could be.
ความเปลี่ยนแปลงคือเรื่องธรรมชาติ แต่เรื่องที่ไม่ธรรมชาติคืออารมณ์และความทรงจำ ที่ยังทำให้เราคิดถึงสิ่งที่เคยเป็น
.m.
