Note to all who are having a hard time. It really is true when they say that you’re never alone. No matter how bad a predicament you are in.
For a long while, I’ve been seriously mulling over the meaning of life. (Ooooh… yep, brace yourself, we are getting deep.) Over the past few years, it’d been especially tough and mentally draining. You know how it is to deal with the dreadful loop of constant doubts, uncertainties and conundrums, which is also a part of life. TBH, there was nothing beautiful about the process. I struggled hard and hit another level of rock bottom. (Just as I thought it couldn’t get any lower!) I was numb. If you ask me about what I did in those years, I most likely will not remember much. Things were a bit of a blur. I was functioning but not in the healthiest of way. Most people couldn’t tell and I reckon some of them still can’t. There were definitely signs of high-functioning depression. But I probably shouldn’t self-diagnose. Between my reality and unrealistic expectations, life became messy. My life was kept in suspense with me as its only audience, half wishing that the tension would fade half addicted to the thrill. Sense of impatience loomed large. Desperation took over. Nothing felt right anymore.
Continue reading “Struggle and Almost Through”
Shopping & Eating day
Not much to report except to say that a lot of damage was done to my wallet. More to come as I now am on another hunt for more stuff before heading back home.
Continue reading “NZ17 – Day 29/30”
A wet but reasonably warm day. Went for a morning walk/expedition down at Viv’s backyard bush! Though there’s still a lot of work to be done but the prospect of having a bush in the backyard to relax in is worth the wait. It’s her personal project in the making. I’d love to see it come to life for sure! Also her ‘little but fruitful’ orchard is amazing!
Continue reading “NZ17 – Day 27/30”
Went out on a two and a half hour trek on Rangitoto island with Ariel and Tom. It was boiling hot and physically demanding. Lol We walked all the way up to the top and got chased by wasps. Had a delicious bagel sandwich with avo and salmon on top for lunch.
Came home to shower and home-cook dinner before getting picked up to go to Viv’s up in Dargaville. Then I pretty much got cut off from the world because there was no service in my room. Lol
Continue reading “NZ17 – Day 25/30”
Today was another laid-back day. Seriously, I need more days like these before reality catches up. Went to Takapuna Beach Holiday Park for a walk along the beach, climbed rocks and just enjoyed the sun. I’m tanner than I have ever been! NZ sun turns me brown!! Then we got some Fish n Chips to eat in the car while looking at Auckland city and harbour view. It was my first Fish n Chip since being back. Nom nom! And finally, our long overdue movie night was done and dusted. We saw Arrival – a rather intensely strange film about time and choices expressed through alien invasion? lol
Continue reading “NZ17 – Day 24/30”
It was a lovely sunny day today. A perfect day to do my second load of washing. XD I’m slowly getting used to the life here again. Initially I thought I’d never settled. I guess it’s a little too late now that I only have a week left lol. Oh well~ Better late than never.
Stayed in and read the book I brought with me on this trip with the hope to finish it before I leave. I only read one chapter today and fell asleep. LOL So much for good intention.
In the evening, Ariel, her hubby, Tom, and I went out to dinner at a food court in Ponsonby area. We swiftly walked through Ponsonby Central for quick snaps. It was buzzing with people out having their dinner. So I didn’t want to invade their privacy by sticking camera in their face. LOL Could only take a few shots of the place. Didn’t get a chance to try donut with ice cream either. Maybe next time 🙂
Continue reading “NZ17 – Day 23/30”